spockhetti:

wo-nderland:

Once u mess up liquid eyeliner there is no going back

image

(Source: wo-nderland, via guceubcuesu)

weavemunchers:

"What are your talents?"

Me: 

image

(via guceubcuesu)

  • Customer: Ummm could you get your manager?
  • Me: No, but you can get these hands.

fangpants:

Why do dudes always wanna know your bra size tho, what are they gonna do, buy you bras?? Cause that would be very helpful bras cost a lot of money i would save a fortune

(via marshmallowinvasion)

Nice things to whisper when hugging someone

damonssalvatoree:

yogurtville:

-you smell different when you’re awake
-please help me (then smile as if nothing happened)
-soon
-you have lovely skin, I can’t wait to wear it
-your hair tastes like strawberries
-tonight….you.
-he knows, don’t go home.
-I always knew you would die in my arms
-every time I poop I think of you
-no one will ever believe you
-yessssssssssssss
-I killed mufasa
-I bet you didn’t feel me lick your ear
-mother told me it would be like this

-hail hydra

(via marshmallowinvasion)

drunkdilf:

isn’t it weird to think that most people you know had sex? that cute old lady sitting next to you on the bus? prob choked on a dick at one point in her life

(Source: cyberho, via marshmallowinvasion)